Dear Senator _________________:
I recently sold all my stocks, cashed out my 401(k) and my IRA, and sold my house
at a big loss. Even though the cash I ended up with is less than half of what it would have been just a year ago, I believe
I have made the right decision.
I urge you to now support all the
plans proposed by President Obama, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Treasury Secretary Tim “I forgot to pay my taxes” Geithner, and Federal Reserve Board Chairman
Ben “little Keynes” Bernanke. Go ahead. Pass every stimulus bill they come up with. Bail out any bank or business
that wants more cash. Buy Henrietta Hughes that house and car she wants. Give free medical care to illegal immigrants. Give
General Motors, Chrysler, and Ford $100 billion each to lavish on lazy union “workers.” Give yourselves raises.
Let all legislators have an expensive private jet, just like Pelosi.
I realize I wrote you just a few short weeks ago, asking you to be fiscally prudent.
But I have since seen the error of my ways. Who am I to stand in the way of massive deficit-spending? After all, if President
Bush and the last Democrat Congress thought that racking up $450 billion deficits each year would cause no harm, I assume
Obama and the current Democrat Congress must be on the right track in pursuing $2 trillion deficits as far as the eye can
see.
I apologize for my lack of clear thinking in my last letter. For a brief moment
I thought the economic rule that applies to my own personal budget (“Don’t
spend more than you earn”) must somehow also apply to businesses and governments. But, of course, the President
of General Motors and the President of the United States must know more than I
know. I am, after all, just a lowly citizen – part of what Senator Schumer calls “the
chattering classes.”
So, dear Senator, please ramp up the spending. And make sure you keep those federal
printing presses going 24 x 7 to pump out additional greenbacks. I’m sure that will help quite a bit.
At least it will help me. I put all my money into gold, which ought to be at
about $3,000 per ounce just as the average American is paying $18 for a gallon of milk.
As for the rest of the country, well, there’s always November of 2010 –
if they last that long.
Thanks for listening,
Don Fredrick
Galt’s Gulch
