Eddie Haskell for President?

With all the fuss over Barack Obama’s “lipstick on a pig” comment, I felt obligated to watch the video of his statement - several times. I then listened to two or three radio “personalities” discussing the remarks – over and over again. I got the distinct impression that 95 per cent of the people phoning the talk shows already knew the Democrat or Republican “talking points” and were repeating them verbatim.

The people who support Obama say it was simply a remark about McCain’s policies, while the McCain supporters say it was an insult hurled at McCain’s running mate, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, with the “old fish” remark added by Obama to imply and criticize a “Bush-McCain” legacy.

Personally, I believe Obama knew exactly what he was saying, and did so both to stir up the crowd and to mollify criticism he had been getting from the leftists in the media that he had not been tough enough in responding to criticism from the McCain campaign. Although the “lipstick on a pig” (or, more commonly, “perfume on a pig”) analogy may be as old as Washington itself, there is no one who would argue with a straight face that Obama had not heard, or was not aware of, Palin’s “difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: lipstick” comment during her acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention. Palin’s speech effectively banned pigs from ever wearing lipstick again, just as Lloyd Bentsen, in his 1992 Vice-Presidential debate with Dan Quayle, effectively banned future comparisons of candidates to John F. Kennedy. (Not being one to frequently take the advice of anyone but himself, however, Obama hasn’t shied away from either pig cosmetics or Kennedy comparisons.)

Helping to persuade me that Obama “knew what he was saying when he said it,” was a re-check of YouTube to again view several clips where the “esteemed Senator,” during the primary season, gave Hillary Clinton “the finger” while making campaign speeches to large crowds. (Perform a YouTube search for “Obama flipping off Hillary.”) Senator Clinton was of course not present, but at just the right time in his prepared remarks, as he mentioned his opponent’s name, Obama carefully lifted his right hand and slowly scratched his right cheek with his middle finger. He did this on at least two occasions, and both times the crowd reacted as though he knew what he was doing. Obama’s expression also made it obvious that it was deliberate and planned. It is also an awkward gesture, as the index finger is the more natural one to use; to use only the middle finger to scratch one’s face and retreat the other fingers requires a conscious, unnatural effort. (Try it.)

Unfortunately, viewing the “lipstick” and the “finger” videos left me with an image that I expect I will never be able to get out of my head – that Barack Obama is Eddie Haskell. Haskell, you will recall, was the smarmy friend of Wally Cleaver (the older brother of Beaver Cleaver on the “Leave it to Beaver” television sit-com of the late 1950s and early 1960s). In the presence of his friend’s parents, Ward and June Cleaver, Haskell was ever-so-polite and deferential, making sure he offered a compliment (“May I say that’s a lovely dress you’re wearing, Mrs. Cleaver?”) and acting like the perfectly-mannered young gentleman he really wasn’t. But away from the adults, Haskell was a smart-aleck punk with no respect for authority or institutions. Teenager Haskell had little life experience and knowledge, but that didn’t prevent him from believing he knew best or from giving his advice.

Obama, in a manner that would make Haskell proud, offers public praise for Hillary Clinton – but in a condescending, smart-alecky way that should turn off all but the glazed-over Obamatons who have fallen for his shtick – and then gives her “the finger” when she isn’t around to notice. Of course, Hillary and Bill Clinton learned of the “antics,” which leads me to suspect that in the privacy of the voting booth the dynamic duo will either cast a vote for McCain or cast no vote at all.

Obama, like Haskell, has the smarmy charm that fools the inexperienced youth who haven’t lived long enough to know any better. Naïve in the ways of the world, they suck up what he says, believing that if only everyone would just “get along” and “share” and be given “free health care,” the world would be perfectly harmonious. Watching the dumbstruck young adults with mouths agape during Obama’s acceptance speech at the Democrat National Convention no doubt reminded many television viewers of Winston Churchill’s statement, “A young man who is not a liberal has no heart. An old man who is not a conservative has no brain.”

Of course, Ken Osmond, the actor who portrayed Eddie Haskell, grew up. Mr. Osmond was decidedly not smarmy, proudly served in the Armed Forces of the United States, and then joined the Los Angeles Police Department. He served on the department’s vice squad, was wounded in the line of duty and is currently retired.

We now know that Barack Obama has yet to grow up. He certainly hasn’t learned Winston Churchill’s lesson, and he still wallows in the socialist ideology he learned from his communist mentor in Hawaii, Frank Marshall Davis. Nor has Obama left behind his childish, smart-aleck attitude. One wonders if he would throw spit-balls at the ceiling of the Oval Office.

Don Fredrick

September 12, 2008