As if we don’t have enough Americans wasting their time being unproductive and causing the rest of us to have to work harder to compensate, Obama has come up with a new organization. It’s called “Organizing for America” (OFA), and is designed to create an army of volunteer lemmings who will try to drum up support for his foolish policies. With the 13 million e-mail addresses he accumulated during the campaign, Obama has a ready list of non-thinkers who will be at his beck and call to do some of his dirty work. When “extra help” is needed, Obama’s staff will send an e-mail to the 13 million creatures to give them instructions. Because these are people who were foolish enough to support his candidacy and send him campaign contributions, they will be more than eager to serve his cause. Don’t expect them to question his orders.

The OFA volunteers are asked to take a pledge. Not to the United States, mind you, but to “Obama and his bold plan.” The official web site asks individuals to “Create a Pledge Project Canvass in your neighborhood… to knock-on-doors and ask your neighbors to take a pledge of support for President Obama's bold approach to renew America’s economy and invest in energy, health care, and education.”

Now, you could simply slam the door in the face of the OFA oafs, but that will allow them to quickly move on to the next house. The following may be a better approach:

When the Oafs ring the door bell, be friendly and calm. Act interested. Let them take as much time as they want explaining the purpose of their “pledge drive.” Nod your head as though you care about what they are saying, making them believe you might even agree.

When they are done with their spiel, ask for an I.D. Then excuse yourself while you “go make a copy” for your records. If they won't let you make a copy, have paper and pen handy to copy down their name and personal information. If they get nervous, just tell them, “Well, you know, you can’t be too careful nowadays. I’m sure you understand.”

When they’ve completely run out of things to say and believe they’ve “sealed the deal,” give them back their pen and documents and say with a straight face, "I'm sorry, but after careful thought I've decided that I don't support socialism or fascism... and I suggest you go do something productive with your life before you destroy the United States any more than you already have by electing Obama.”

If they encounter that (or similar) responses from hundreds (or thousands) of people, that may discourage them a bit. The most important part of the process is wasting their time... the more time they spend at your front door the less time they have to go where they might actually be welcomed. You want them to go home tired and believing that they got suckered by a master con-man into wasting their day – which is exactly what happened.

Don Fredrick

March 21, 2009